Edamame Soybeans!
by Clafre
Summary: AU. What do you do when someone has stolen your identity? When they take away the friends, family, and experiences you were supposed to have? YOU BLOW UP THAT PERSON'S BRAINS! Well, according to mafia rules, anyways. R&R appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

**Edamame Soybeans:: Chapitre 1**

Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me.

A/N: Overdose of question marks. LOL. Warning: If you are allergic to, scared of, or just straight out dislike question marks — just slowly trace your mouse over to the back button...and click as fast as you can. Hurry, hurry! D;

On the other hand, if you like question marks— no, _love_, then this fanfiction might be like heaven to you. Okay? LOL. We got that clear? Then let's move on; I'll see you at the bottom(hopefully)! XD

Rating: T+

Genre: Comedy/Action

Pairings(if you squint): 5927, 6996

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><p>(Extended)Summary: AU. In a world where the mafia has never interfered with Dame-Tsuna's life...he grows up to be a soybean farmer. In the quiet suburbs of Namimori, Japan, Sawada Tsunayoshi owns a small plot of land in which he grows and sells soybeans, and other various crops. He had been leading a calm, uneventful life for 21 years...until one day, a mysterious stranger with a yellow striped fedora shows up at his front door. Then and there, Dame-Tsuna knows: his peaceful life has come to an end.<p>

**Edamame Soybeans!**

Sawada Tsunayoshi lets out a deep sigh of relief as he plops himself down on an old, rusty stool. He wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead and rubs his hands onto his dirty, faded jeans. He sits for a while in silence.

If we look closer, we can see that this man is no more than 21 years old, but, for some reason, he looks as worn out as a 50 year old single mother with...oh, I don't know, 10 children? And we all know that it is odd, especially for such a young man, to look so run-down. Perhaps it is because of all the failures he has faced up 'till now.

Believe it or not, this man, no matter how ordinary he may seem, has actually failed at almost everything he attempted in life. For 21 years. Sad life, huh? It _almost_makes you want to sympathize with him. I feel the need to put an emphasis on the word _almost_, because we all know that all you readers out there are downright sadistic.

...Ok. Just kidding. Don't kill me. Please.

**Edamame Soybeans!**

"Aaahhh, my back is aching nearly everyday now; I feel like an old man!" Tsuna whined to his orange-haired acquaintance.

The the orange-headed man chuckled in response. "Sawada-kun, you look like one too," he said.

"Ehh? That's a bit harsh, isn't it, Irie-san?" Tsuna asked. " He opened his mouth and was about to protest, but instead released a disappointed sigh.

The orange-head, known as Irie, raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Did you really take that to heart, Sawada-kun?"

"No it's just..." the brunet nodded at his friend's luggage cart. "You're leaving for college today, huh? Just like I did, three years ago..." Tsuna let out another sigh, as the scene of three years ago played back in his head.

He was eighteen then, a boy who had just graduated high school. His mother had immediately insisted that he get a house and job of his own, and head off to college as soon as possible. Being the useless kid he was, it was obvious he couldn't make any of this happen on his own, and so his mother had given him money for his education and housing. Still, that didn't make things any better. The first day at his local college, Tsuna was already dismissed as the dumb kid, and didn't understand a single thing presented to him at classes. A few months later, he was known as 'rubbish,' and 'a disgrace' among the students and faculty, and so Tsuna decided to drop out. Obviously, these classes weren't working for him. The search for a job had gone even worse. No one accepted his job offers, often calling him 'useless,' and kicking him out of their office. He had applied for almost every job available in Namimori, but to no avail. Every single one of them didn't even give him a second look. And so, the poor brunet went online as a last resort, and looked up: "starting a business at home." The easiest, he though, among the list, was farming. Something that was fairly simple. At least, simple enough that even Dame-Tsuna could accomplish. So, with the remaining money his mother had given him, he purchased a small cottage with a small plot of land, and began to live the life of a self-sufficient farmer.

Irie looked at his friend sympathetically. "Well," the orange-head began, "it's not so bad, right Sawada-kun? I mean, you have a job and you raise enough money to take care of yourself. That's better than a lot of people already. I think you should be proud. You're a working man!" Irie patted Tsuna's shoulders in an attempt to make the brunet feel better.

In response, Tsuna half-smiled. "Thanks Irie-san," he said. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to your packing now. I'll be there at 10 pm to see you off, okay?

**Edamame Soybeans!**

It was 8:00pm when Sawada Tsunayoshi attempted to wash 5 days' worth of dishes. It was 9:20pm when he finished. You'd think that this was pretty bad, but It was actually a record for the no-good brunet. On average, it would take Tsuna at least two hours to finish, and he would end up breaking 5 of the dishes. This time though, it had only taken him 1 hour, 20 minutes, and he had managed to break only 2 dishes. Maybe it was finally time that he would stop being no-good, the brunet thought. And maybe it was.

It was 9:30 pm when Tsuna was done changing. He was wearing 1 coat, 2 sweaters, and 3 shirts. He was the type who got cold quite easily, and the fact that it was winter did not help. The young boy lived relatively close to an airport, and, including traffic, he would arrive right on time to say farewell to his friend, Irie.

Sawada sighed as he remembered how he was lucky enough to have met someone who was willing to become friends with him. It was his third year of middle school, and his bike had gotten a flat tire. The red-head, Irie Shoichi, had seen this and, being the nice person he was, came over to help Tsuna. Tsuna attempted to thank Irie by inviting him to coffee. The two became friends after that, meeting up once in a while to hang out. But now, as Irie was heading off to college, Tsuna would not have anyone to meet up with anymore. Of course, he and his red-headed friend would still call and send e-mails, but Tsuna felt a bit lonely that he could not see Irie in person anymore. The brunet continued to ponder what he would do after his one and only friend left to a different country when suddenly, the doorbell rang. Tsuna snapped out of his thoughts as he rushed to get the door.

Standing outside his front door was a tall man, donned in a black suit and striped fedora, with a cold, hard gaze and curly sideburns. He was someone that Tsunayoshi had never seen before.

"Uhm, hello? May I help you with some-"

"Are you Sawada Tsunayoshi?" the man asked. His tone was demanding and hard like steel. His voice was colder than the outside air, and this caused Tsuna to flinch a little.

"Y-yes, is there anything you need fr-"

"Good. I have some business with you," the man interrupted again, as he let himself inside Tsuna's small house.

The brunet didn't know why, but he suddenly had a strong feeling that his meeting with the strange man, would change his life. Forever.

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><p>AN: I will never, ever be able to make first chapters interesting, so hopefully you'll give me a second chance and stay tuned for chapter 2. :D

Let me know if you want me to continue; hit the review button right down below! :)

I would also like to ask some questions, to help improve your reading experience.

Question 1: Any mistakes in conventions? i.e. grammar, vocab, structure, and whatnot?

Question 2: Any other mistakes? i.e. OOC-ness, wrong details

Question 3: What do you think of the title and summary? Is it interesting enough?

Question 4: Thoughts on the story so far? :D

You don't have to answer the questions if you don't want to, but it would be very much appreciated! Thanks, and until next time! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Edamame Soybeans:: Chapitre 2**

Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me.

A/N: Ah...8 reviews...on the first chapter...(́இ\\\д\\\இ). I don't know if you guys could see that emote. I don't think Fanfiction allows symbols other than punctuation marks. BUT THANK YOU GUYS SOO MUCH! I really appreciate that you took the time to review. And thank you to all those who favorited, subscribed to the story/author, and for story alerts! ^^

I'll be replying to all your guys' reviews at the bottom! :)

Rating: T+

Genre: Comedy/Action

Pairings(if you squint): 5927, 6996

(Extended)Summary: AU. In a world where the mafia has never interfered with Dame-Tsuna's life...he grows up to be a soybean farmer. In the quiet suburbs of Namimori, Japan, Sawada Tsunayoshi owns a small plot of land in which he grows and sells soybeans, and other various crops. He had been leading a calm, uneventful life for 21 years...until one day, a mysterious stranger with a yellow striped fedora shows up at his front door. Then and there, Dame-Tsuna knows: his peaceful life has come to an end.

* * *

><p><strong>Edamame Soybeans!<strong>

The room was filled with an awkward silence, as the two men sat opposite each other. The man in the striped fedora(1), whose name had not been revealed yet, glared at the 21 year-old Tsunayoshi, who was nervously averting his eyes to the floor. In the mind of the young brunet, Tsunayoshi, time could not have been passing by any slower. The brunet glanced up at the clock. A total of 12 seconds had passed. He resisted the great urge he had to face-palm.

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><p><strong>Edamame Soybeans!<strong>

((Tsuna's POV))

_Ah...this is bad. I feel like crawling in a hole...__, _I thought to myself. I continued to sit in uncomfortable silence, staring at the floor. Seconds suddenly felt like hours to me, as I felt sweat run down my back. Was there such a thing as being raped by eyes? Those would be the perfect words to describe what I was feeling at this moment.

Should I make conversation with him? I should at least get to know his name right? I mean, a total stranger...who...suddenly barged...into my house... Why did that only begin to sound suspicious as I thought about it?,?,?(2) Didn't the situation seem as if a burglar were about to rob my house? ...It seriously took everything I had not to face-_table_ this time.

I should really break this silence...the way things are going, I'm going to be late to see Irie-san take off!

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><p><strong>Edamame Soybeans!<strong>

Tsuna gulped and took a deep breath. "Uhm, excuse–!"

"**Shut up,**" the man spat out, as his glare intensified.

"H-hiiee! I'm sorry!" the brunet screamed. He huddled himself in a corner of the couch and begin to cower in fear.

"...You really are as pathetic as the profile says. I would have thought that 7 years would be a big gap, but you haven't changed at all, Dame-Tsuna!" the man in the striped fedora chided.

"Eh? H-how do you know my name? And who are you anyways?" Tsuna asked in response.

"Reborn," the man replied. He took a card out of his front pocket, and tossed it onto the table. The brunet hesitantly picked up the card. _Reborn, _it read, _Occupation: Professional Hitman, Contact:_–

There was more to the card, but Tsunayoshi stopped reading as his brain processed the words, _Occupation _and _Hitman_.

"...Hiiieeee!" the misfortunate farmer let out a scream more terrifying than ever before. It was to be expected, after all. I mean, he was talking to a _hitman_ for goodness sake! "Please don't kill me," Tsuna whimpered. He crawled onto the floor and bowed down in forgiveness.

"Tch. How could this scrawny-ass guy be related to the Primo?" Reborn muttered. "Hey, get up," he commanded to the brunet.

"Y-yes! As you wish, sir!" Tsuna yelped obediently. He rose up onto the couch, and sat, his back erect.

"Look, you. You probably don't believe this as much as I don't believe it, but," the hitman took a pause, "you are the heir to the great Vongola Family, one of the most powerful mafia families in the world." Tsuna's mouth hung agape as the hitman's words registered in his head. And then, the almond-haired farmer proceeded to faint.

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><p><strong>Edamame Soybeans!<strong>

The fierce-eyed hitman, Reborn, glanced down at the watch on his hand. It read 9:52 p.m. Next to the great mafioso, and by next I mean 5 meters, lay a scrawny-looking brunet, who was curled up, sleeping soundly. Oh boy, did Reborn want to shot a hole in the kid's head. But if it was true that this wimp was actually Vongola Primo's heir, then Reborn didn't want to risk it.

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_ Reborn stared at his watch again. 9:55 p.m. Well, he had waited long enough for the boy to come to his senses. A green chameleon crawled up to the hitman's shoulder from behind. It leapt onto Reborn's finger and started to glow, turning into a giant green hammer. Reborn raised the hammer high up, and brought it down with the force of a herd of elephants– right onto Tsuna's head.

"Iiiiiyaaa! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-owwww! That hurts like heck!" Tsuna yelped in pain. The brunet rubbed his head, a tear forming in his eye. His thoughts were muddled. What exactly was he doing before falling asleep? "Ah! Shoot! What time is it?" he asked. Tsuna had just remembered– he had to meet Irie!

"**Hah? Who do you think you're talking to, failure of a human being!**" a voice bellowed. _Wham!_ Tsuna fell face-first, his lips meeting passionately with the cold, hard floor.

"Hey, that seriously hurts! Would you quit i– **AH**," the brunet suddenly stopped. His mouth hung agape, memories flooding back into the small brain of his. "...Hiieee! H-hitman-san, I mean -sama, I mean -dono, I-I mean, O HITMAN KAMI-SAMA! Please don't kill me! I'm sorry!" The "hitman kami-sama" felt his left eye twitch, as he grimaced at the young brunet's idiocy.

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><p><strong>Edamame Soybeans!<strong>

"Alright," Reborn said, "now that you've calmed down, Dame-Tsuna, should we continue where we left off?" Tsuna felt sweat run down the back of his neck, but he merely gulped and nodded, afraid of angering the hitman any further. Reborn sighed heavily. Was it possible he felt more stressed out talking to this idiot than when he was assigned to obliterate a team of 5-star assassins? Yes. Yes it was.

"I'll make this short and simple, just for that minuscule-sized brain of yours. You are the tenth generation heir to the prestigious Vongola Family, one of the strongest mafia families in the world." Tsuna froze. He felt as if he would pass out again, but he kept himself awake, eyes and ears wide-open, out of fear. The impatient hitman glared at the lowly farmer, expecting him to pass out at any moment. Surprisingly, Tsuna held still for 3 minutes. He(Tsuna) proceeded to take a big breath.

He looked up, straight into the hitman's eyes, and declared, "I think you've made a mistake."

Reborn felt a vein on his forehead twitch.

"Care to explain?" the hitman asked.

"Uhm, well, look, there's no way I can be heir to a mafia family! I mean, you said it yourself right? I'm Dame-Tsuna! Useless and good for nothing! So I'm thinking, maybe you just have the wrong name or something?" Reborn sighed. It felt like he was being interviewed by a little kid, who would keep asking more questions after he answered.

"Look, I would have been _ecstatic_ if I had mistaken you for someone else, perhaps someone smarter, stronger, and more self-capable, but the truth is this. You are the true heir, even though you are useless. Seven years ago, you were supposed to begin your training to become a real mafia boss, but a mistake was made with the documents. Apparently, the ninth-generation, in dire need of glasses, had mistaken your name for another.

"You'd think that 7 years is too long of a time to be brooding over such a mistake, especially since the chosen kid has become much more capable than you already. But it's not for any of us to decide. According to the Vongola rules, written by the founder of Vongola, the bosses of the Vongola require a blood relation to the bosses or guardians who have served in the family before. And you, Dame-Sawada Tsunayoshi, are a blood relative of the first generation boss, Vongola Primo. The other person, however, is not. But since it has been such a long time gap, it would be unfair to take the current candidate and remove him. Thus, the ninth has issued out a competition.

"You, Sawada Tsunayoshi, must find 6 guardians of your own and train, and go up against the current candidate for Vongola Decimo! And to do that, I have been called here to take you to Italy!"

And with that, Tsuna passed out, once again.

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><p>(1) The Man with the Yellow Hat...[Curious George!]<p>

(2) Fanfiction won't allow multiple ?s or !s, so I separated them with commas. It looks odd, but I really just wanted emphasis on that moment.

~~OoOoO~~

Preview for the Next Chapter!

→ _This kid...this kid is the person that, as of now, I want to __**kill**__ the most!_

~~OoOoO~~

A/N: So, did you guys enjoy that chapter? I hope so! ^^ Now, time to reply to reviews~~

**riceboxx**: thanks for reviewing, glad you like the story!

**A K A T S U K I - Y U M E**: yess, yes, I shall change his description to orange-head. XD

Hmm...the importance of this title? ...Uh. I usually base titles on the story's plot, or any relevance to the story. Hope you stick around and thanks for reviewing! :)

**TheParadoxicalOtaku**: LOL. I knew the readers were secretly sadistic. |D /shot/ Thanks for reviewing! ^^

**Reader**: Eh? Really? "Boiled Soybeans Soybeans..." It sounds funny! xD I really shouldn't get credit for spelling like this, because, actually, I just saw this on a box in the fridge. /brick'd/ Thanks for the review!

**Taira-keimei**: ...Actually the fate of this whole story rests on a box of those soybeans. Ahahahahaha– no. Forget I said anything. Thanks for reviewing~

**Rozelia13**: Thank you! ^^ I appreciate the review, and hope you stay tuned!

e**zcap1st**: Glad you enjoyed it! xD Thanks for reviewing!

**IchigoAngel**: Thank you for reviewing, answering the questions and for the advice! :D

I'll try to edit and make the changes to chapter 1 soon. :)

Hope everyone has happy holidays and stays tuned for the next chapter, and don't forget to review! :)


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